Anger is like lighting, it has to go somewhere. Our anger can go inward, outward, or be passively indirect:
Inward
Negative self-talk
Self-harm
Isolation from others
Alcohol & substance use
Denying basic needs like food/safety
Outward
Shouting
Breaking things
Physical violence
Verbal abuse
Threats
Ultimatums
Indirect
Sarcasm
Silent treatment
Snide remarks
Malicious intent
Gossiping
Go-slow
Our anger can have different origins and consequences:
- Anger directed inwards is often caused by fear, anxiety, depression, or a need for experiencing some sense of control. It leads to low self-esteem, worsening mental and physical health.
- Anger directed outwards can be due to low frustration tolerance, establishing control and authority, distress, substance use, or deeper underlying anger issues. Outward expression of anger corrodes trust, breaks down relationships, alienates and isolates, and has legal implications most of the time.
- Anger expressed indirectly or in a passive-aggresive way is usually due to poor communication skills, conflict avoidance, a hostile attitude, or insecurity. It leads to confusion, broken trust, and resentment from others.
Anger can also be a symptom of mental health concerns such as trauma and PTSD, grief, personality traits, or other mood and anxiety disorders. It can range from frustration and irritability to full on rage.
If your anger impacts your health, functioning or relationships it might be time to talk about it with a psychologist or other mental health professional.
